What Do You MEAN The Store’s Closed? It’s Only 6pm And I Need My New I-Pod!

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I’ve recently been abroad to the Old World and I must say that there are some things that America could learn from Europe about work.  It was enough to almost make me not get on that plane back to the States.  So, what was so great about it?  I suppose the major point is the fact that the hours seem to be better.  Now, granted, this is a statement about the places I explored while in Europe.  I know not every country in Europe is the same.  So take this info with a grain of salt.
Nearly every single store seems to close no later than 7pm.  Not only that but a lot of stores (that aren’t bakeries) don’t even open until 9am.  I know a lot of coworkers who wouldn’t mind getting out by 7pm on a Friday night.  I can’t tell you how many family gatherings that would’ve allowed me to catch the last few hours of, at the very least.  And when you think about it, what store – other than pharmacies or convenience stores – need to be open past 7pm, anyway?  If you can’t buy your 50” TV by 7pm then maybe it wasn’t meant to be.  If your washer broke down just take your clothes to a Laundromat.  If your cellphone died on you then enjoy the silence and pick up a book.
And forget about finding anything open on a Sunday.  Good GOD!  Forget the point if you’re religious or not but if God could rest on the 7^th day, why can’t retail workers?
Do you know what people in Europe do on Sundays?  They spend the day relaxing and enjoying the world around them.  Novel concept, I know.  Parks were filled with people.  Cafés were bustling with friends catching up with one another.  Streets were more jam-packed with bicyclists than motorists.  People. Just. Slowed. Down.  If they had a 40” TV, they don’t seem to need to rush right out when the 60” version comes out three months later.
It seems like everyone is in such a rush in the States to go from 1 store to the other and by the end of the day, how many of you actually feel like you’ve accomplished a lot for the time you spent running around?  I’ve said it before but whenever I hear customers say that they’re just shopping around and plan to go to 4-5 other stores on their Sunday, I just think, “Why?”  In the day and age of the Internet, just go home, sit out in the backyard, enjoy a cup of lemonade, and look up what you want to buy online.  Even if you don’t want to buy it online and insist on going into a store, at least you know what’s out there before you go out.  This way, instead of going to five million stores, you can just go to 1-2.  Plus, nowadays, it seems like every store is so desperate for your business that they’ll offer price-match guarantees on their items so even if you don’t think you got the best deal, you can still go in after you buy it and get the difference back if it goes down.
I never want to spend a whole day at stores.  If a store has what I want and I know it’s within what I want to spend, I get it.  I’m not going to spend my time and gasoline on trying to save $10.  Life’s too short for that bullshit.
Another bonus of working in Europe – and I know this has its drawbacks, too – is the amount of vacations one can get at many places of employment.  You hear it in jokes on late night comedy talk shows about how they get 6 months vacation out of the year and how even the slightest hint of taking away 1 day from their vacation times will insight massive riots throughout Europe.  But what I want to know is, when life IS so short and when most people work themselves to death and have to deal with mounds of bullshit in their everyday life, why NOT have 6 weeks – HELL, even 4 weeks – of vacation time?
People need to unwind and 2-3 weeks vacation time and a few personal days spattered throughout the year isn’t always enough.  Especially if you work in retail.  Imagine what you can see and do with 4-6 weeks of vacation time!  However, this goes hand-in-hand with pay.  People in retail jobs in the States need to be paid a living wage and not the bullshit most hourly workers get in order to do something useful with those vacation hours.  I hear a lot of stories from people who just take vacation hours to sit around the house.  But why??  Even if it’s just to go into the city or visit family in the next state, that’s still being able to get out and explore the world.  Or at least do something useful with your time at home (like start a blog! Ha).
There are a lot of things wrong with Europe – as there is with any place on the globe – but recognizing people need time to get away from work isn’t one of them.  And for those who say that despite the fact many jobs pay more than their U.S. counterparts they get taxed more, I say, “So what?”  They might get taxed more but, generally speaking, those taxes go toward universal health coverage in many countries (look out, it’s “socialism”!).  It goes towards better roads and other infrastructure projects (without being labeled wasted government jobs.  Yeah, I hate driving on smooth roads and having bridges not collapse).  It goes towards renewable energy sources (“Oh, look at those UGLY windmills!  I’d rather have those power plants that churn out the billowing smoke in my backyard.” – some random U.S. politician).
Okay, I shall leave it there for now.  I will probably pick back up on this topic when I have more time to delve deeper.  I just needed to get out of my writing slump.  Hey look, I’m up to 1750 page views!  Thanks to everyone reading this rambling mess.  Hope you’ve found it amusing.  Tell your friends and family!
More soon from the frontlines...

We're Closing - Get Your Crap And Leave!

     In most retail stores, if it is closing time, you’ll generally hear an all-too-eager person on the PA system announce that the store will be closing so but your shit and get out.  It’s the only announcement every worker in a store waits to hear.  Most customers abide by this because it’s a mix of common sense that closing time means closing time, as well as common decency.  Who wants to be that guy who is holding everyone up from going home?  Okay, who am I kidding, in this day and age, nobody gives a damn if they’re that guy.  I digress.

     However, in a store that may or may not be the one I work at, this message is absent.  I suppose it’s done in an attempt to create a friendly, welcoming environment.  We wouldn’t want anyone to not feel welcomed in our store by asking them to leave in a polite manner at the official close time that is posted on the doors.  Please, come in and browse for as long as you want.  Who cares if all you’re doing is buying a $7 pack of batteries?  It’s totally worth it to make everyone stay behind until you’re done finding the right AA batteries.

     Whenever I have someone ask me what time we close, and it happens to be after that stated time, they always have a half-surprised, half-nervous look about them.  As if we were going to carry them out if they didn’t hurry.  Good.  That’s the look they should have.  But it’s not their fault because it’s not announced.  They’re conditioned to gather their things and make their way to the front lanes when they hear the PA announcement.  They don’t stop shopping at a store because they’re asked to leave.

     Retail managers are just so greedy to make that extra sale they all assume will walk through those doors after we’re supposed to close.  What really happens is that you only get someone buying batteries, a DVD, a CD, or another minor product that will make no difference to the store’s profits for the day.  In retail, keeping the doors open just fifteen, twenty minutes longer doesn’t really serve much of a purpose.  If you’re keeping the doors open because it’s slow and you’re trying to make some cash, it’s doubtful you’ll need all the employees that are there to serve the one or two customers who walk in.  So, while 1 or 2 employees are engaging the customers, you have several others just shooting the shit with coworkers or waiting to finish closing their departments down.  What a total waste of payroll!  And if you’re keeping the doors open because you’re trying to make some extra cash because it’s been slow, that waste of payroll is draining the little money you already made for the day.

     If someone pages for my assistance in my department, and it’s after closing time, I always have the urge to say, “I’m sorry, I could’ve helped them, but we closed 10 minutes ago.  They should’ve showed up during the 10-11 hours we were open during business hours.”  I’m sure one day I’ll get the balls to say that.  Maybe whenever I hit it rich and can afford to quit retail.  Oh, but how I’ll enjoy that moment!

     Trust me, if you could have a PA system in your home, you would certainly use it if you had people over for longer than they’re welcomed.  How amazing would that be if you could just get up from the couch, walk over to their personal broadcast system, and say, “Attention, family members!  It is time to make a final stop at the bathroom, gather your leftovers from dinner, and go home.  We will be closing our front doors in ten minutes.  Thank you for visiting and we’ll see you all again soon.”  I know several of my family members who wouldn’t say no to that idea.

     To recap:  retail companies, don’t be afraid to say goodbye to your customers at the end of the day.  They will return and whatever they wanted to buy that night could probably wait until tomorrow morning.  If their TV is out, maybe this is a sign that they should hold conversations with their families or read books or go out on the town.  If their fridge died, maybe this is a sign they shouldn’t be eating the crap they bought at the grocery store.  Closing the doors could do nothing but bring them positive outcomes!  It’s your duty to close those doors – think of the lives you’d be improving if you did.  (I’m just not sure if I mean that more for the employees or for the customers.)

     More soon from the frontlines…