Do You Have More In The Back?

I want to dispel a rampant notion that quite a few people seem to have.  You all might want to sit down and brace yourselves because I don’t want anyone passing out and hurting him or herself.  All set?  Okay.
Individual stores – be they retail or grocery – 99% of the time do not make the products they are selling on their shelves.  This means that if they run out of a product, they have to wait for more quantity of that said product to come in.  Let that sink in.  Feel free to get back up and go for a walk around the block.  I’ll be here when you return.
I state the obvious for the simple reason that nobody seems to comprehend this.  Nothing in the store = you get nada/zilch/nothing (is my point made?).  You might be saying, “But anonymous internet blogger, I’m not an idiot.  I know you don’t have dozens of workers in the back assembling multiple brands of televisions, DVD players, refrigerators, CDs, laptops, gaming systems, and whatever the hell a Roku is.”
Ah, and I say to you that you may THINK you know that, but you must have some sort of Memento-like amnesia because it seems that whenever a product goes out of stock (usually around the holidays), everyone freaks out.  How could a retailer that exists in reality in a finite amount of space, carrying dozens upon dozens of products at any one time, run out of something?  This is America!  The land of plenty!  I demand my Kenny Loggins Christmas CD!
So, I feel it is important to remind you all that if a place runs out of something, they usually don’t have direct and immediate access to more of that thing.  And no matter how many times you repeat the fact that you desperately need this product otherwise your loved one(s) will never love you again, it will not change a thing.  I’m not a wizard disguised as an hourly retail worker.  My usual conversation does NOT go like this:
Customer:  “Do you have the new PS4?”
Me:  “No, I’m sorry, we sold out of them.”
Customer:  “Are you sure?”
Me:  “Yeah, I’m sorry.”
Customer:  “You don’t have any in the back?”
(This, by the way, is my favorite question of all time.  The mysterious backroom that also houses the Ark of the Covenant.)
Me:  “Yes, if we had any, they would be out on the floor.”
Customer:  “Because my son asked for one for Christmas this year and my brother already bought him three games for it.  The only reason we’re getting it is because my wife and I told him we’d get him one if he got straight A’s this semester and he did.”
(Because, obviously, I didn’t want to sell you one before and make revenue but now that I know your entire life history?  I definitely have ten of them waiting for only the ‘special’ customers.)
Me:  “Well, in THAT case!”  I look around and then magically pull a PS4 out of my sleeve and hand it to the customer.
Actually, now that I think about it, everything up until that last part is how it usually goes.  I have to repeat myself no less than 4 times on average whenever somebody doubts our product quantity.  This isn’t some riddle where asking me the right combination of words to see if we have something will solve things and get you what you’re looking for.
And no matter how dire the situation or how persistent or demanding you may be, that will not get you a different result.  If we’re out, we’re out.
The same goes for grocery stores.  They’re not attached to a slaughterhouse that can get you a different cut of lamb.  They don’t have banana trees in the produce backroom.  They aren’t canning their own olives.  They just aren’t.  So stop repeating your question because unless you want to drive to a different store or wait, you’re not going to get what you’re looking for.  Just deal with it.
I think it’s part of that culture where everyone is expecting to be able to get whatever they want just because they get their way in every other aspect of life by just bitching a little louder than the other person.  The entitlement class isn’t just some bullshit label that some people throw around for one portion of the population.  It’s a label that can apply to anyone be they poor, rich, black, white, young, old – whatever.  If you were raised spoiled or raised to feel overly special when you just aren’t – if you were raised to believe you were owed something, then naturally you’re going to feel like if you just talked louder or pleaded your case harder, you’ll get your way.
The reality – again – is:  you just won’t.  Get over yourself.  Most likely there are hundreds of people who are looking for the same thing you are.  Most likely there are not hundreds of that product available for immediate purchase.  Deal with it.
Shit, now I’M repeating myself.  See what happens when you have to deal with ridiculousness each day?
At least I feel better.  So, just remember – no means no.  Actually, remember that even if you’re not trying to ask for something that’s not in stock.  It’s a pretty good tip to know for everyday life.  Free tips are always in stock here.  You’re welcome.  Please, come again.
More soon from the frontlines...

The Only Way Out Of Retail

That line, “The only way out of here is in a box,” – or some variation of it – is used in movies all the time but I think that it could easily be placed at the top of every application for every retail job.  And that’s because, for an alarming amount of people, that seems to be the only way out of retail.  I know that sounds like a joke but I don’t mean it to be.
In the last year alone I’ve heard about somebody who worked at several of our stores dying from a heart attack either while on the clock or as he was leaving from work.  I’m not 100% sure on the particulars surrounding the event.  Everyone in the store who knew about it kept talking about that.  It was our greatest fear – to die wearing a shirt with a nametag on it.  A few of us even joked about how we would rip our shirts off if we ever felt a heart attack coming while on the job.  We didn’t want the last minutes of our lives to be with our job’s invisible collar around our neck.
Then just recently, our own store had a near scare.  One of our own employees suffered a heart attack outside of work.  Thankfully, the guy is doing okay so far.  Tough bastard.  But to think that this guy had a family and suffered a heart attack during the holidays really gives you the willies.  This is somebody I’ve seen on a near daily basis and have spent countless hours shooting the shit and griping about the stresses of work with.  I couldn’t comprehend it.  My brain could not wrap itself around the idea of somebody around my own age lying in a hospital bed from a heart attack.  I don’t believe in Christmas miracles but I’m damn glad he’s recovering because not everyone is as lucky.
This all seems like a running theme in the world of retail.  I know that’s just life and everyone dies – don’t get me wrong, but it just seems like something about working in retail is conducive to heart attacks.  Stress is a natural part of the retail world and everyone feels it.  From the customers complaining just for the sake of complaining to the customers who are too lazy to read the print on the tags so they come to interrupt your work so you can read it for them.  Maybe it’s the irregular schedules for most of the hourly employees, who are thus unable to plan anything else in their lives.  Or the schedules that change at the last minute without any notification – plans be damned.  Perhaps, it’s the long and demanding hours during the holidays that simultaneously put even more stress on employees who have to miss out on family time.  The seemingly increasing amount of work placed on a smaller and smaller workforce as companies try to squeak by without having to increase their payroll.  Or how about having the smarter employees having to pick up the slack from the idiot employees that the management deemed worthy of hiring?  That one is my personal favorite.
This doesn’t even take into account the poor eating and drinking habits most of the workforce partakes in.  Energy drink companies should give each employee a free case of their products at the holidays for all the business we generate for their companies.  How else are most employees supposed to stay awake on Thanksgiving night when they have to work from ten o’clock to six o’clock the next morning, only to return at noon to start another eight hour shift?  Then there are the late night inventory shifts that end at two in the morning but see some employees return seven hours later to open the store.  The needle full of adrenaline to the heart in Pulp Fiction likely got its inspiration from retail workers.
Then there are the endless amounts of fast food joints conveniently located around my job that almost everyone goes to for lunch breaks.  I feel like I’m one of the few who brings their own food from home as much as I can.  I see what all that fast food is doing to the bodies of many coworkers and I want to avoid health issues as much as possible.  But convenience is typically the way most people lean and when you only get a half hour lunch break – if you’re lucky – then fast food it is!  All that fatty food clogging your arteries while the stresses of your job slowly build and build and build cannot be good for the body.
Sure, I know we don’t perform brain surgery at our jobs, but when you’re getting paid the amount of money we get while doing all the work expected of you by no fewer than five different people on a daily basis, it can feel like it.  Okay, I’m still being a bit hyperbolic, but you catch my drift.
So, in my ever-constant attempt to come up with solutions to my daily rants, where do we go from here?  I doubt companies are going to hire enough staff to do the work that they think we can accomplish.  I doubt our pay will all magically increase and I doubt the hours will change.  I also highly doubt customers will start thinking for themselves and solve their easy questions on their own or keep their petty complaints to themselves without raising a ruckus.
So, I ask again, where do we go from here?
No, seriously, where do we go from here?  Because I’m actually at a loss for ideas.  I just hope we can all make it out of here alive and not in a box.  Hopefully I’ll be able to come up with something by the next post.  If you’ll excuse me, I have to go make a cup of coffee before work.
More soon from the frontlines...

Black Thursday, A.K.A. Thanksgiving

It has been way too long since my last update but I’ve no excuse other than my own lack of motivation to write.  So, after cleaning up the place, let’s begin, shall we?

One thing I’ve come to notice about holiday shoppers is the fact that they always think a better sale is somewhere off in the distance.  It’s like they’re Dorothy wishing upon a rainbow for some giant tornado to come and take them to Oz.  Oz, obviously, is the local electronics store.  Hey, sometimes you have to take what you can get.  This last Black Friday – which, thanks to greedy corporations, was more like Black Thursday – saw some really good deals.  Deals on nothing I really would care about but deals, nonetheless.  So that was a few weeks ago.  Yet, I still get customers coming in who are confused about why the prices have gone back up since then.  As if everything is supposed to remain constant through the passage of time.  That’s why I’m still a young 20-year-old whippersnapper instead of the old, dilapidated age that I am.
Me: “Well… they were on sale for Black Friday.  Those were really good prices.”
Super Genius Customer: “Oh… so they’re no longer on sale?”
Me: ”No, they are, but Black Friday had some REALLY good sales.  Better than what they are now.”
I tend to repeat myself when I’m talking to customers because most customers are like five-year-olds with ADHD.  They never pay attention.
Then the inevitable question follows:
“Do you see them going back down that low?”
“Uh…”
Some times I’m not a hundred percent sure they’re not joking.  I mean, people spent the previous two to three months just waiting to buy that big purchase because of the possibility of a Black Friday deal.  Not even the guarantee – just the possibility!  Then, when Black Friday comes and goes, but while the customer is still under the impression that Black Friday means every day until New Year’s Day, they finally decide to stroll in and check things out.  When they see the prices have changed, they want to know when the next Black Friday-type sale will be.
Uh, next Black Friday would be my guess, but what do I know?  I just work here.
They then ask when the next holiday sale might take place.
When I shrug my shoulders and shake my head in dumbfounded confusion, they throw out possible options.
Labor Day?  President’s Day?  Martin Luther King Jr. Day?  Christmas?
MLK Jr. Day threw me for another loop because I usually associate it with solemn reflection, but I suppose we should thank corporations for ruining that for us.  Christmas, however, knocked me back out of my haze.
“Black Friday kind of was our Christmas,” is finally my response.
The sad look of disappointment when they hear that is then followed by, “Well, I guess I’ll just wait and hope for the best!”
Ah, there’s that American spirit!  That can-do I-can-wait-for-better attitude!  HOO-RAH!
Wait for another holiday to roll around just in the nick of time as your fridge finally gives up the ghost and dies?  That’s Russian Roulette that I wouldn’t want to play.  Yikes!  Those are the same people who come in and are upset that they can’t get next-day delivery because all their food is spoiling because they waited until the last minute to buy something.
But, I suppose that is the American spirit.  You just keep waiting and hoping for a better tomorrow that may or may not come in the hopes of saving an extra ten dollars.  Never lose out hope, shoppers!  There’s always 300 odd days left until next Black Friday!  Perhaps that 25-year-old stove that won’t heat on two of the four burners will make it.  Or you could just suck it up and buy something and be done with it.
…Nah!
More soon from the frontlines...

Black Friday Deals... On Thursday!

It’s that time of year again!  The time where you spend a day of thanks to remember all that you have and all you should be happy about… just a month before you receive things you desired and probably didn’t even need.  I’ve experienced way too many holiday seasons working in retail.  Far more than I ever intended to experience.
This will be a quick post since I’ve mentioned before how pointless I find people lining up as early as Wednesday for some piece of crappy technology that’ll be obsolete within the year.  However, I did want to point out something I heard at my job recently.
One of my coworkers, trying to look on the bright side of only opening at midnight on Thanksgiving, said something along the lines like, “At least we don’t have to open at 10pm or 8pm like [some of our competitors].”
To which I say, “Buuuuulllllshiiiiiiit.”
You see, do customers think the store just magically looks the way it does when they walk into the stores?  Do you see those displays set-up around the store?  Do you see how there are stacks of flyers or ads or pamphlets laid about in certain parts of the stores?  Well, the places you shop don’t magically look like that because a jolly fat man in a red suit makes it look that way.  We’re not elves selling toys made in Santa’s workshop.  There’s no fairy dust that magically turns stores into winter wonderlands.
Since the stores are “closed” on Thanksgiving, everyone has to run around after our store closes for the day on Wednesday like their heads are chopped off trying to set everything up for Friday.  Of the 2-3 times I’ve done this, I’ve stayed to at least 1am.  Then what do you do when you get home?  If you’re me, you have to eat something & then you’re too awake to fall asleep right away.  So, typically, I’m not asleep until around 3am.
Then, since the store now opens at midnight, if one has an opening shift, we’re scheduled an hour or two before the store actually opens.  I’ve started as early as 10pm.  So from midnight on Wednesday to – let’s say – 2am on Thursday, and then again from 10pm to midnight, I’m most definitely working on Thanksgiving.
It’s that kind of thinking that retail companies want you to have.  At first it was, “I’m working 4am but at least I’m not working at midnight.”  Then, when everyone started to open at midnight, we all thought, “I’m working at midnight but at least it’s not ON Thanksgiving.”  To which stores like Target have decided to start opening their doors at 9pm or so ON Thanksgiving.  It’s time we all got together & realized that sales aren’t worth it.  EVERYONE deserves a day – 24 FULL hours – off from work to see the people we don’t get to see very often.  This is something customers AND employees should agree on and need to work together to fix.
Customers need to refuse to shop at stores that open at midnight (or earlier).  Employees, well, I guess the only thing we can do is to keep getting the word out to people we know and tell them to hold off on sales.  My parents never stood in line at 4am for a toy and if I was ever upset that I didn’t get something for Christmas, I quickly got over it because I always got more than I probably deserved.  And so will your kids, relatives, friends, and whoever else you’re in line for.
Incase I don’t get the chance to update before it arrives I wanted to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving.  I thank you all for taking time out to read my rants and ramblings.  This is just a little project I decided to do as an outlet but it means a lot that you all are reading it.  If you’re living outside the States… Count yourself lucky you’re not apart of the crazy bull that is associated with the Christmas season here in the States.
Moor soon from the frontlines...

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas... In July

     One of the most common anecdotal stories you hear in the retail world is the slow creep into November that Christmas has made.  If you’ve ever seen all the commercials that air for Christmas in the first week of November, you understand what I mean by this.  It seems like hyperbole to suggest that at some point, retail giants will force us to start watching Christmas commercials in January, but at the rate things are going, we may be at that point in another 10 to 12 years.  This year seems to be one of the worst ones out there for retail life – and I’ve seen several.

     For the most part, I’m spared some of the early Christmas displays for awhile but why do places like Macy’s feel the need to put up their Christmas trees no later than September?  It is just plain sickening.  My job usually waits until at least November to roll out holiday-themed gift cards but this year was the first time they brought them out before Halloween. Halloween!  As in October 31^st!  It should’ve been at that point that I realized this year wasn’t going to be like the others.  I love Christmas and all, but let’s leave Christmas for December.

     Then came word that there were a few retailers who were going to open on midnight on Thanksgiving.  One or two others were going to be opening up even before that.  For some, this would be the first time they’d have to work on Thanksgiving at their jobs.  For those of you outside of the U.S., this caused quite a commotion among employees and shoppers.

     Shoppers were upset because they’d have to get up even earlier or leave Thanksgiving earlier to get the good “doorbuster” deals.  Let me start out by saying that if you’re standing in line for a $5 coffeemaker, it’s probably a shitty coffeemaker and not worth missing time with your family.  If your family members are upset because they can’t receive every single gift on their list or they don’t get a certain amount of gifts, just tell them to be one of the millions of homeless people who don’t get a proper Christmas at all.  That’ll shut their ungrateful mouths up, huh?  And if you’re complaining about getting up even earlier to get the deals, well, you’re already up at 12-1am to get to the stores and in line anyway, is getting there earlier going to kill you?  In a few articles, some shoppers that were interviewed said they felt bad for the employees that would have to miss their holiday meals.  I bet you that they were still waiting at midnight to be let in for their special sales despite their sympathy.

     Some employers said they felt really bad about changing the hours and making their employees work these crappy hours but that the ‘demand’ for earlier hours was there and that to remain competitive with others, they had no choice but to open earlier.  Like the old saying goes, “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?”  I bet these CEOs are really bummed their employees will have to cut into their family time but somehow they’ll be able to overcome that grief – perhaps on their yacht or their vacation home in the Bahamas.  Any way you cut it, it is just simply greed.  I’m all for making a profit and I hope people spend tons of money at my job because that means I keep making money but there has to be a line drawn somewhere.

     In retail, most of us only get 3 holidays off:  Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  It’s something in exchange for the crappy wages and the generally crappy conditions we have to put up with.  With the insanity of holiday shopping and the demands of working at stores, we already get family time cut into as it is.  What if someone has more than 1 family they celebrate a holiday with and they spread their time out over 2 days?  They’re already missing that 2^nd family celebration and now you’re asking them to miss the other?

     I’d like to experience a Christmas season overseas just to see how they act.  Do they trample over each other to get a pair of $5 jeans before Christmas?  Is blind, hungry consumerism as rampant overseas as it is here?  Something tells me it’s not.  I wonder why that is?

     Again, I’m all for making a profit, and I knew what I was getting into as far as working long holiday hours, but there has to be a line drawn.  I don’t think as retail workers some common courtesy is too much to ask for.  You should have major holidays off.  You should be able to request a day off of work during the holiday months if you need to spend it with family.  You shouldn’t be made to feel like a criminal if you come down with the flu and have to call off of work.  These things happen quite often at my job and others that I’ve heard about.

     I figured with all the Occupy Wall Street and the ninety-nine-percenters out there that the midnight open that some companies did would create a bigger backlash but I was sorely disappointed.  From the looks of it, idiots, instead of staying inside and just going on Amazon like sane people, ended up showing up at midnight.  It’s called the internet, people!  Use it for more than porn, okay?  It’s not just Wall Street and the government that needs to be taught a lesson about capitalism run amok.  It’s also the retail giants that treat their workers only slightly better than slave labor and their customers like cattle that can be manipulated into buying anything as long as they call it a “holiday sale”.

     I’ll have more to say on another post about holidays but this rant is long enough.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to hurry out the door – there’s a great sale going on at JCPenny!  If I buy 4 sweaters, I get 5% off the fifth one! Sweet!

More soon from the frontlines...

In-Store Music

     There are a few music artists I believe owe everything to their music being played at retail stores or grocery stores on endless loop.  Rod Stewart and Neil Diamond, I’m looking at you!  “Cracklin’ Rose” needs to be banned from ever being played, sorry.

     An in-store radio, if you’re lucky, has more than 10 songs played on a constant loop.  The grocery store I worked at had a decent selection of music that they played.  I could almost go an entire day without hearing the same song played twice.  I’ve also been quite amazed with the good music I’ve heard being played at a grocery store.  From David Bowie and The Beatles to The Killers and Jimmy Eat World – some grocery stores really try to make the sounds around you pleasant enough.

     The same can’t be said for electronic stores I’ve worked at, which is kind of surprising.  At one store, the music would repeat after the sixth or seventh song.  You’d think a place that sells CDs would be able to play more to show the diverse tastes they offer customers.  What fills me with dread about hearing those same handful of songs being played on repeat is the fact that some of the songs I know to be bad tend to grow on me.

     Hey, that song by the Jonas Brothers isn’t half-bad. I wonder if the CD is out yet, I’d think to myself before realizing, Wait, what? No!  You’re not a 12-year-old girl!

     But, by that point, the damage is already done and my taste in music is ruined.  Oh, who am I kidding?  My taste in music was never that good.  I digress!

     The music only gets worse by the holidays.  That music selection dwindles even at the grocery stores.  Just because you play “Jingle Bells” five different ways does not mean your selection is any better, either.  That minor irritation is probably why employees feel like tearing into customers during the holiday seasons.  It’s like when a parent has a headache and they want to yell at their child for doing nothing out of the ordinary – the headache just makes everything seem more annoying than usual.  Same concept.

     The holiday music drives me nuts because my job feeds a local radio station into their system each year to get people in the holiday mood.  Sadly, with the ever-expanding Christmas season, the holiday music begins November first.  One can’t even come out of their candy overdose from Halloween before being bombarded with Burl Ives or Bing Crosby.  No offense, if there are still days where the weather can reach fifty degrees, that is not Christmas music weather, and stores should zip it with the tunes.  This encroachment by Christmas needs to stop and holiday music on in-store radios is the first line of defense.

     Please, stores, if there’s one thing you could do to improve your workers’ experience while on the job, it’s the music.  We spend 4-10 hours there a day and if the music selection repeats after an hour, well, you can do the math.  That’s a whole lot of repeated songs in a month, let alone a year.  Or just increase our pay, you know, which ever.  Is that a no on the pay?  Okay, I had to try.

     I know it’s a matter of copyrighted materials and being allowed to air them at the store level but please, if I have to hear “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis one more time, I’m going to check into Heartbreak Hotel.  Yeah, that joke’s bad but maybe if my jobs played more than the same 10 songs, I could think of some other song to end that joke on.  Now, to go download that new Jonas Brothers song…

     More soon from the frontlines...