‘Reduce, Reuse, And Recycle’ Has Become ‘Increase, Use, and Maybe Recycle’

     As a cog in the machine there are often things that are out of my control to change, and as a person who is acutely aware of the big global problem we have with deforestation, pollution, and global warming, it is frustrating to witness companies that are lax on their recycling guidelines.  That is, if they have any at all.  I don’t understand why it is so hard to have 2 different bins located throughout a store that is designated for recycling and one for garbage.  If my job is any indication of how numerous other businesses work, then there are thousands of trees killed each day for no good reason.

     There are plenty of times where I’ve had to print something and it either doesn’t come out right or it turns out I printed it out when I didn’t need to in the first place.  Each time that that’s happened, whenever I have to toss that paper out, I feel a slight pang in my heart.  I’m apart of the problem and that really annoys me and I’ll tell you why.  I strive to fix problems, not be apart of them.  There are times when I might not recycle when I have the ability to do so and for that I’m at fault.  But when there are times that I don’t have an option, like at work, I get frustrated that I have that choice taken away from me. 

     My company likes to pretend that it is a great partner in the fight against waste but if even 1 of their stores isn’t recycling their paper, that claim is a sham.  They have advertisements about recycling old batteries and the like but they could be doing so much more.  There’s not much hope, in my eyes, of the world really truly fighting for conservation and recycling when big businesses aren’t doing all they could be doing.  I’m not saying it’s feasible for every single business to have ten different garbage bins in every single building, office, or hallway they own and to guarantee every employee will deposit the right item in the right bin, but that’s not to say that that shouldn’t be a goal to strive for.

     But instead of finding ways to reduce the use of paper, my work seems intent on finding more ways to burn through paper.  They’ll find ways to make us fill out more paperwork daily on the customers we’ve helped, even if it’s info we fill out on other paperwork for them already.  They’ll have us tag products with signs that display the same info that other tags on the same product already displays.  I’m sorry, but if a customer is too blind and stupid to read a sign that shows a sale price on it, they shouldn’t be accommodated with a larger sign on the same product.  They’ll print off e-mails to give to someone else when they could just forward it to that person.

     It’s such a wasteful environment.

     I have coworkers that print out copies upon copies of the same sheet when they could just scribble the info they need on a scratch piece of paper.  Whenever I see pages being printed out at my work, I picture a tree that’s stood for hundreds of years falling in some distant rain forest.  I don’t know how people will be able to look future generations in the eye and try to explain how we had the opportunities to reduce the use of paper that came from trees that were vital in the ecosystem of our planet.  To those future generations I say this:  I’m sorry for being apart of the problem, in whatever capacity that is.

     That’s enough of that rant for now.

     More soon from the frontlines...

Shut Up And Get Your Work Done Faster!

     Okay, fellow employees, you’ve gotten off the hook up until this point but now it’s time for you to take your medicine.  Don’t get me wrong, we’re all in this fight together, but there are some things that bug me to death with you all.  What follows is one of the top things on that list.

     To begin, at many of my previous jobs I’ve been able to leave at the end of my shifts whenever I felt like it.  There was no checking out with anyone to make sure I did all of the work in my department.  If the store closed at a specific time, I didn’t have to wait around for a walkthrough by my manager.  It was great!

     At my current job (and others that my friends and family have told me about), I have to wait to get the okay from my manager to leave.  This generally doesn’t impact me because I’ve built up enough goodwill with those in charge that I could, basically, just say to them that I’m leaving and walk out without getting a walkthrough.  They know that I’ve been there long enough to know what’s expected of me and to make sure everything’s done before I leave.  I know how to stock things, I know to clean up the trash around the department, and I know how to make signs for things that are without them.  It’s not rocket science.  I plan my day well enough where I can get most of these things done before the doors even close.

     Others don’t always utilize their time as well.  Whenever I leave before everyone else has to, I typically get several sarcastic comments from my coworkers who have to wait behind.

     “Must be real hard leaving first.”

     “Wow, what did you do that makes you able to leave early?”

     It’s called working when others would just stand around and talk or go for smoke breaks.  Everyone always complains about how long it takes them to close their departments down but they never think about that when they’re standing around and doing nothing.  Even when I’m busy, if I walk past a display that needs organizing, it doesn’t take that much time and effort to push a box so it’s aligned with the rest of the products.  If you do that one by one, you’ll get a lot accomplished without even really trying.

     Sure, I goof off and relax but I also know that I don’t want to be there longer than I have to be at the end of the day.  There are also nights when I’m asked to assist other departments who need help closing down for the day and they are often the same departments with those employees that stand around during the day.  I don’t think it’s right that I’m asked to not only do all of my work but also the work of others who suffer from a lack of proficiency at their jobs.  I earned the right to leave early and, as much as I love all of my coworkers, if they need assistance then they should call their friends they stood around with earlier in the day.

     I have more pressing things to do in my life that I’d rather be doing than staying late at work to do things I could’ve done throughout my shift.  You know, important things like sitting here and writing this blog instead of going out in the beautiful sunshine.  Wait, when I put it that way…

     More soon from the frontlines...

“I’ve Been On Hold So Long That I’ve Forgotten What I Wanted.”

     I would’ve updated this blog sooner but I was on hold with an electronics store for the last six days.  Wow, it really does take a long time to get through to someone, doesn’t it?

     Okay, maybe not that long, but there are times when I probably could’ve constructed Noah’s Ark in the time that it takes me to get through to someone on the phone.  To paraphrase - you can judge the health of a nation by the time it takes someone to receive an answer from a retail store on the phone.  I guess you can’t really put that on a bumper sticker, but I’m sure it’ll catch on.  It’s an issue you hear about nearly every single store, HR helpline, or manufacturer’s customer hotline.  And everyone’s own personal delay is a catastrophe, I’m well aware, but what do you really expect?

     Think about the amount of people living in your town.  If more than 5 people are calling up with a question or issue, chances are you won’t be getting through any time soon.  Magnify that if you’re calling a Sony, or Nintendo, or Whirlpool hotline for a question.  That company has only so many call centers set-up to deal with issues and I’m sure no amount of jobs they could fill would come close to handling the amount of calls they must receive.  A company only has a finite amount of resources available to them and incoming calls will always be shortchanged in that equation.  So suck it up and wait.  If you can make it through in under 10 minutes, just be happy to finally get your question answered.

     Customers come into my department and tell me how they couldn’t get through on the phones so they were forced to come into the store.  They always have the same idea, too:

     “[Blank Store] needs to hire more people to answer the phones.”

     Thanks, now all we need to do is install more phone lines for those new hires to work! Brilliant!  If every person in the store was devoted to just answering the phones then people coming into the stores would have no one around to assist them.  A store can only do so much for the number of incoming calls they receive each day.  If you really want to have faster service on the phone, spread the word to every person you know who meanders on in a phone conversation.

     You know the type – the person who gives you way too much information than what’s needed to tell a story, or the person who isn’t prepared for the conversation so they stumble on their words or repeat themselves a million times.  If they’re that slow talking with someone they know, imagine how they are when they’re talking to us.  To find you the cable for your computer or the filter for your vacuum, we don’t need to know that you received that vacuum from your grandma ten years ago because you moved into a new apartment and had a pet dog named Spot who, god bless him, would shed like crazy.  WOW, really?  Like Dave Chappelle would say, “Wrap it up!"

     If you want help finding something, just tell me the company who made it, the model number, and how old the product is.  Cut and dry, people.  The quicker you are with us, the quicker we are with you, and can proceed onto the next phone call.  If you don’t like waiting in a long phone queue, imagine how the people behind you feel once you get through.  If we need more information, we’ll probably ask for it.

     That’s not to say that some customers are justified in their complaints.  Just the other night I was caught trying to call up another store to see if they carried something in-store.  I was on hold for over an hour trying to get through.  After 10-15 minutes of holding, I would hang-up and try another extension but I got the same response.  I then tried other stores to see if I would have better luck and, eventually, I did.  That luck only occurred after calling 2 other stores and waiting about 5-10 minutes on hold for each store.  That is no way to run a business.  I can understand if someone has to wait 5 minutes or so but over an hour of trying to get through?

     Don’t think that employees don’t understand your frustration.  We get it more than anyone out there.  I have to call other stores, warehouses, etc., for customers who are too lazy or too stubborn to call them up themselves and I am the one left on hold.  Just remember to be calm like the Buddha.  Have patience and eventually your call will be answered.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to pick up this damn phone that’s been ringing for the past hour.

     More soon from the frontlines...

"I Will Tear Your Head Off The Next Time You Do That! Oh, And Thanks For Coming In Early To Work!"

     One of the biggest apprehensions I have before going into work each day is, “What kind of moods are the managers in today?”  Now, my first big apprehension is, “Am I going to have to deal with customer issues today?” but manager moods run a close second.  Do you ever work at a place where it seems like the managers are suffering from multiple personalities or some severe emotional imbalance?  How fun is that?

     It’s not like there are several insane managers running around my store, there isn’t.  It just feels that way because of the amount of time spent around them.  The crazy people tend to stand out from the calm, fun managers that are at my store.  They can go from pleasant to axe-wielding maniac on the same shift.  The phrase "walking on eggshells" was probably invented because some crazy grocery store manager went berserk one day and threw eggs all over their store.

     One moment the manager will act like he or she is your best friend and the next moment they’ll tear you a new asshole for coming to them with a question.  What’s really frustrating about these managers is when they seem normal for a good month or two, making you think you can get along with them, and then they return to their bitchy attitude.  For the longest time I couldn’t stand one of our head managers when (s)he first began because every interaction was a combative situation.  Everyone (and I do mean everyone) despised having to work with her/him.  (S)he’s been there now for over a year and it is just now that I’m starting to not feel as apprehensive about working around that person.  Yet, I know that given the right circumstances that could change in an instant.  Not that I feel like we’re buds or anything – I still walk in with the same level of unease as I did before – but I don’t dread every interaction.

     When I worked in the grocery retail world, I remember most of the managers being in better moods than the managers at electronic stores.  That kind of strikes me as unusual since, per day, grocery stores tend to see more customers than electronic stores, and there are more employees at grocery stores than electronic stores.  How come management at grocery stores can keep more of a level head than management at electronic stores?  Is there some sort of training they’re going to that we can export to the electronics world?  If so, let’s get on this!  Or is it because customer issues in the electronics world tend to feel like larger headaches than at grocery stores?  I’m probably leaning toward that being the case than anything else.

     Do I expect every manager to be my best friend? No.  I do, however, expect them to not treat me like their five-year-old child and fly off the handle whenever they don’t like something I’ve done or didn’t do.  If every training video or coaching seminar I’ve ever went to for this job expects me to act like everything is all sunshine and rainbows in the world, the same should be expected of our managers.  We’re supposed to give every customer the royal treatment but apparently there is no training video telling managers to give their employees the royal treatment.

     If the frustrations of being a manager are too much for someone, then they shouldn’t be a manager.  If having to deal with customers bitching at you, corporate eyeballing you, and employees coming to you with every little issue is too much for you – then you shouldn’t be a manager.  That’s why I’ve never tried to move up in the retail world.  I know that I’d be like the bitchy managers I’m describing here.  I also don’t expect managers to shoot rainbows out of their eyes and toss candy to all the employees as they walk by, but you can be upset without being insane.  That’s something a few of my managers haven’t learned just yet.

     For all of the nice managers out there, you’ll get your own post, don’t worry.  I think I speak for all retail workers everywhere when we say that you’re presence at our stores make a world of difference.  Never let anyone take whatever place you draw your levelheaded and fun attitudes from away from you.  As hourly employees, we need you there all the more because even though your numbers might be larger than the psycho managers, their presence makes it feel like there are more of them than there are of you.

     More soon from the frontlines...

In-Store Music

     There are a few music artists I believe owe everything to their music being played at retail stores or grocery stores on endless loop.  Rod Stewart and Neil Diamond, I’m looking at you!  “Cracklin’ Rose” needs to be banned from ever being played, sorry.

     An in-store radio, if you’re lucky, has more than 10 songs played on a constant loop.  The grocery store I worked at had a decent selection of music that they played.  I could almost go an entire day without hearing the same song played twice.  I’ve also been quite amazed with the good music I’ve heard being played at a grocery store.  From David Bowie and The Beatles to The Killers and Jimmy Eat World – some grocery stores really try to make the sounds around you pleasant enough.

     The same can’t be said for electronic stores I’ve worked at, which is kind of surprising.  At one store, the music would repeat after the sixth or seventh song.  You’d think a place that sells CDs would be able to play more to show the diverse tastes they offer customers.  What fills me with dread about hearing those same handful of songs being played on repeat is the fact that some of the songs I know to be bad tend to grow on me.

     Hey, that song by the Jonas Brothers isn’t half-bad. I wonder if the CD is out yet, I’d think to myself before realizing, Wait, what? No!  You’re not a 12-year-old girl!

     But, by that point, the damage is already done and my taste in music is ruined.  Oh, who am I kidding?  My taste in music was never that good.  I digress!

     The music only gets worse by the holidays.  That music selection dwindles even at the grocery stores.  Just because you play “Jingle Bells” five different ways does not mean your selection is any better, either.  That minor irritation is probably why employees feel like tearing into customers during the holiday seasons.  It’s like when a parent has a headache and they want to yell at their child for doing nothing out of the ordinary – the headache just makes everything seem more annoying than usual.  Same concept.

     The holiday music drives me nuts because my job feeds a local radio station into their system each year to get people in the holiday mood.  Sadly, with the ever-expanding Christmas season, the holiday music begins November first.  One can’t even come out of their candy overdose from Halloween before being bombarded with Burl Ives or Bing Crosby.  No offense, if there are still days where the weather can reach fifty degrees, that is not Christmas music weather, and stores should zip it with the tunes.  This encroachment by Christmas needs to stop and holiday music on in-store radios is the first line of defense.

     Please, stores, if there’s one thing you could do to improve your workers’ experience while on the job, it’s the music.  We spend 4-10 hours there a day and if the music selection repeats after an hour, well, you can do the math.  That’s a whole lot of repeated songs in a month, let alone a year.  Or just increase our pay, you know, which ever.  Is that a no on the pay?  Okay, I had to try.

     I know it’s a matter of copyrighted materials and being allowed to air them at the store level but please, if I have to hear “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis one more time, I’m going to check into Heartbreak Hotel.  Yeah, that joke’s bad but maybe if my jobs played more than the same 10 songs, I could think of some other song to end that joke on.  Now, to go download that new Jonas Brothers song…

     More soon from the frontlines...

Me, Me, Me

     This entry ties closely to a few previous entries but I’ve had enough annoying situations of late that I wanted to expound on this subject a bit more.  That subject is the greatest bane of every retail worker’s life and the worst two-word phrase in the English language:  customer satisfaction.  Don’t get me wrong!  I don’t think companies should tell customers to go fuck themselves.

     Well, maybe not all customers.

     Companies should promote a relative level of warmth for customers when they enter the stores.  I don’t, however, believe in companies bending over backwards to make sure every customer feels like they can treat the employees like homeless people or relatives they didn’t like.  Often, there are customer interactions where I feel like the store’s the girlfriend who never feels good enough for their boyfriend no matter how hard they work on their looks or try to keep them happy.

     For instance, customers come into electronic stores and often believe it’s a flea market and not a retail store.

     “How much for this stereo system?”

     “Three hundred bucks.”

     “How about two-fifty?”

     “How about you keep the two-fifty and kiss my ass?”

     Since when are prices adjustable?  I’ve mentioned that before but really, it’s the store’s fault for letting customers think they can get away with that.  In a desperate attempt to get every dollar they can, I’ve seen retail companies take money off of products for no reason other than to just to get a sale.  Then the customer thinks, “Oh, great, next time I’m at the store, I’ll just ask for money off and they’ll do it!”

     It’s great to make a person feel like they’re being taken care of but they should feel that way just by the store having good prices as is.  There shouldn’t be a need to discount something just for the sake of discounting.  If someone can’t pay the price of a $300 I-Pod, maybe they shouldn’t buy the $300 I-Pod.  Don’t live beyond your means – or hasn’t this economical clusterfuck taught us anything?  I don’t go out and eat at 5 star restaurants every night because I can’t afford it.  I don’t go there and ask if I can get a discount on the steak just because I’m a good customer.

     There are also retail companies that allow returns without receipts. What!  There are ways to look up most transactions in a store’s computer database but there are times when that isn’t the case, and yet in those instances people can still return items.  I’m sorry but a store shouldn’t accept your shit back for no reason (and let’s be honest, shit that probably isn’t from the store they’re returning it to). 

     Then there are some grocery companies that do any tiny thing that the customer could easily do at home just to create a friendly, helpful atmosphere.

     “Cut this whole chicken up into ten million pieces for me.”

     “Do you own a knife at home?”

     “Yes.”

     “Oh, so you’re just lazy on top of being rude.”

     People are infants when they walk into a store and they expect everything done for them or done their way.  It’s become so bad that normal sales aren’t good enough for people.  They need discounts on top of discounts.  They expect it because it’s a “special” price just for them.  Well, if everyone expects it, then it’s not so special and the store’s not so profitable.

     “I know this refrigerator is nine-hundred dollars off but is there any discount on that?”

     “Besides the nine-hundred dollars you just saw as the sale?”

     “Oh, but it’s still so expensive!”

     “Then go by one that you can afford.”

     Retail stores & grocery stores shouldn’t be afraid to tell a customer “no”.  Just like you had to learn to tell your child “no” when he or she wanted to eat Twinkies as their breakfast.  Maybe, if the customer hears it enough things will go back to being normal.  Customers won’t think they can walk all over a company just because they know the company will do anything to please them.  And if a customer threatens to walk out the door and shop elsewhere, well, to paraphrase the line, “If you love something, let it go.  If it’s meant to be, they’ll return.”  I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve seen walk through our doors and tell me, “I never thought I’d be shopping here again…”  Time heals all wounds and all egos.

     Again, customers:  live within your means.  It’s nice to have the BMW but maybe you’re just a Ford kind of guy.  It’s okay if you weren’t born in the top 3% of the income bracket.  Shit happens!  Do you think I like slumming it with the rest of the 97%?  Let me put that in a more friendly way…

     Welcome to our store!  How can we help you??
     More soon from the frontlines...

Why Show It Online When It's Not In Your Stores?

     This is a quick recap of an interaction I had the other day with a customer over the phone.  I hope you are as amused by this as I was.

     I received a call from a customer who was looking for a product he had seen online.  He wanted to come in and see the product before making a purchase.  We get these phone calls often and it’s typically no big deal.  He gave me the store’s special product number for the product he was looking for and I proceeded to look it up in our computer system.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t finding anything.  I figured that I had misheard him or he just gave me the wrong number.  That second option is a much more likely scenario:

     “Sorry, sir, that isn’t the model number.”

     “Are you sure?”

     “As sure as several years here can make me.”

     I asked for the model number as a second option but I still came up empty.  I asked him where he found the item that he wanted and he told me it was my store’s website.  I went online and sure enough it was right there when I typed in the model number.  There was just one problem.

     In big letters it said, “NEW ARRIVAL” and the “Add To Cart” button was blocked out.  Now, whenever a company is blocking you from purchasing something, you typically can’t buy the product because the manufacturer hasn’t released the product for sale yet.  Why would a retailer, in the business of making money off of the stupid shit people buy, want to withhold said stupid shit they could sell?

     I tried to explain to the customer the situation.

     “I’m sorry, it looks like we can’t order this product just yet because it’s not in stock at our warehouse yet.”

     “But it’s on your website.”

     “I know, but it just hasn’t arrived to our warehouse yet.  It’s a new product.”

     This is where most people would realize that it’s out of our control and they’ll just have to wait if they really want the product.  Most people.

     “Well, alright, I tried to make a sale with you but it’s your fault that I’ll have to go get it from somewhere else.”

     My fault?  I’m sorry, did any of you see the part where I was promoted to CEO of my company?  By the way, I can guarantee you all that that has not happened.  How can an hourly employee be in charge of who puts products up on our website or the time it takes manufacturers to send their products to our warehouses?  And the product he wanted wasn’t even more than $300.  My store was not going to close because we lost a $300 sale.  Had I been on commission, I wouldn’t be losing sleep over letting a big sale like that get away from me.  Don’t try to make it seem like you were doing me a favor by throwing me such a large sale.

     Don’t shoot the messenger, everyone.  I’m not paid enough to feel heartbroken because you couldn’t receive your Snuggie and have to trudge to another store for it.  I have no special powers that can make something you want appear out of thin air.  If something can’t be gotten, it can’t be gotten.  Simple as that.
     More soon from the frontlines...