The Idle Hours

     Now, for something completely different!  During this crazy holiday season I needed a look back at fonder moments I had in the grocery retail world.  I haven’t talked much about my time at a grocery store since I have so much to work with from my current job.  I spent quite a long time, off and on, working at grocery stores and in some aspects, that world is a lot crazier than electronics.
     Working in the grocery world was my first real experience working at a real job.  I met a lot of fun people and a lot of assholes (like any job).  The customers were idiots but different from the kind I have to deal with now.  It showed me that some people take the ridiculous a bit too seriously.  I look back on my time there with warm thoughts, generally, but I know that if I worked at a grocery store again, I would wonder why I ever wanted to go back.  That said, I did have some good times there and these are a few of them from one of those grocery jobs…
     In the department I worked in, we had a crew of 5-6 main workers (not including our supervisor) that got the work done and did it well.  They were mostly 20-30 year olds who got along with one another – a remarkable feat in the retail world.  We worked quickly enough to have the luxury to goof off when time allowed during the lulls of the day.  And goof off we did!
     There would be a few occasions when we would have 2-3 guys in the department at the same time with zero customers and no pressing work to do.  When this would happen we would head to our backroom past giant swinging doors and find ways to pass the time.  We worked in a department where most of our managers never seemed to go.  It was as if someone had done a magic spell on our department to make us invisible from those in charge.  Not that we minded that, of course.
     Sometimes we just stood around and talked about sports, music, or movies.  Other times, 1 of us would roll up a big ball of shrink-wrap while another coworker would break a piece off of a long cardboard stick and we would play a little baseball.  A few customers probably overheard the crack of the bat or our shouts and cheers whenever someone hit the ball across the room.  Surprisingly, we never were caught, and that was even after one of our coworkers broke part of the light fixture covering when he hit the ball at the ceiling.  The covering ended up having a small round hole in it for as long as I worked there (which ended up being another year or so) without much acknowledgement from anyone about it.
     When the covering was broken after that, we used the fixture as another source of entertainment during our down time.  We took giant rubberbands that we had laying around and tried to launch them at the broken fixture.  Whoever could successfully land their rubberband into the actual light and have it stuck up there would win.  I’m not sure who won, exactly, but there eventually was a winner.
     Other times, we would sneak out onto our receiving dock that was separate from the main receiving dock of our store, close the sliding dock door behind us, and chill on the little edge for several minutes just enjoying the warm summer days.  There was one or two customers, sometimes elderly people who couldn’t find a product on our tables, who would peak their head into our backroom to find someone but they would walk back out empty-handed.  Through the main backroom, which was separated from the receiving dock by a large cooler, we could see a few people through the sliding dock door’s small window as they looked around the backroom for help.  One of our managers even said he had tried to find us but we just told him we were off doing something in another part of the store and we got off with a shrug of the shoulders and a laugh.  I honestly have no idea how nobody ever caught us once.
     The best part, however, came when we had 4 workers scheduled at the same time and we were all able to go on lunch at the same time to Taco Bell for over a half-hour without anyone asking us many questions when we returned (like, “Why was your department empty of employees for a half-hour when we had customers coming in?”).  Our department had more freedom in that store than anyone probably ever guessed.  And nobody seemed to question us because we all worked hard when we were there.  Or maybe we were just that good at bullshitting everyone and they never bothered to delve deeper.
     Either way, the group of guys I worked with in that department for a year or so helped to make my time there one that I’ll never forget.  There was a lot of crap I had to deal with while working there but those coworkers were some of the coolest people I had the fortune of working with.  Anyone who can make a crappy job more tolerable is someone you should thank every day you see him/her because they are rare.
     That goes for my current job and any other job I’ve ever had.  These memories of mine might not seem all that crazy or insane but the breaks from the otherwise monotonous routines at these jobs and the crabby customers were welcomed breaks, indeed.  It’s so hard to find joy in the everyday routine and it’s those who are around us that either make or break a day.  So next time you’re at your job and someone makes you laugh that always makes you laugh or someone suggests you all sneak out for an extra break, make sure you thank them for making a stressful or a depressing job more tolerable.
     Hmmm… Maybe I should send in an application to a few grocery stores?  This trip down memory lane is making me miss the grocery world!
     More soon from the frontlines...

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas... In July

     One of the most common anecdotal stories you hear in the retail world is the slow creep into November that Christmas has made.  If you’ve ever seen all the commercials that air for Christmas in the first week of November, you understand what I mean by this.  It seems like hyperbole to suggest that at some point, retail giants will force us to start watching Christmas commercials in January, but at the rate things are going, we may be at that point in another 10 to 12 years.  This year seems to be one of the worst ones out there for retail life – and I’ve seen several.

     For the most part, I’m spared some of the early Christmas displays for awhile but why do places like Macy’s feel the need to put up their Christmas trees no later than September?  It is just plain sickening.  My job usually waits until at least November to roll out holiday-themed gift cards but this year was the first time they brought them out before Halloween. Halloween!  As in October 31^st!  It should’ve been at that point that I realized this year wasn’t going to be like the others.  I love Christmas and all, but let’s leave Christmas for December.

     Then came word that there were a few retailers who were going to open on midnight on Thanksgiving.  One or two others were going to be opening up even before that.  For some, this would be the first time they’d have to work on Thanksgiving at their jobs.  For those of you outside of the U.S., this caused quite a commotion among employees and shoppers.

     Shoppers were upset because they’d have to get up even earlier or leave Thanksgiving earlier to get the good “doorbuster” deals.  Let me start out by saying that if you’re standing in line for a $5 coffeemaker, it’s probably a shitty coffeemaker and not worth missing time with your family.  If your family members are upset because they can’t receive every single gift on their list or they don’t get a certain amount of gifts, just tell them to be one of the millions of homeless people who don’t get a proper Christmas at all.  That’ll shut their ungrateful mouths up, huh?  And if you’re complaining about getting up even earlier to get the deals, well, you’re already up at 12-1am to get to the stores and in line anyway, is getting there earlier going to kill you?  In a few articles, some shoppers that were interviewed said they felt bad for the employees that would have to miss their holiday meals.  I bet you that they were still waiting at midnight to be let in for their special sales despite their sympathy.

     Some employers said they felt really bad about changing the hours and making their employees work these crappy hours but that the ‘demand’ for earlier hours was there and that to remain competitive with others, they had no choice but to open earlier.  Like the old saying goes, “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?”  I bet these CEOs are really bummed their employees will have to cut into their family time but somehow they’ll be able to overcome that grief – perhaps on their yacht or their vacation home in the Bahamas.  Any way you cut it, it is just simply greed.  I’m all for making a profit and I hope people spend tons of money at my job because that means I keep making money but there has to be a line drawn somewhere.

     In retail, most of us only get 3 holidays off:  Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  It’s something in exchange for the crappy wages and the generally crappy conditions we have to put up with.  With the insanity of holiday shopping and the demands of working at stores, we already get family time cut into as it is.  What if someone has more than 1 family they celebrate a holiday with and they spread their time out over 2 days?  They’re already missing that 2^nd family celebration and now you’re asking them to miss the other?

     I’d like to experience a Christmas season overseas just to see how they act.  Do they trample over each other to get a pair of $5 jeans before Christmas?  Is blind, hungry consumerism as rampant overseas as it is here?  Something tells me it’s not.  I wonder why that is?

     Again, I’m all for making a profit, and I knew what I was getting into as far as working long holiday hours, but there has to be a line drawn.  I don’t think as retail workers some common courtesy is too much to ask for.  You should have major holidays off.  You should be able to request a day off of work during the holiday months if you need to spend it with family.  You shouldn’t be made to feel like a criminal if you come down with the flu and have to call off of work.  These things happen quite often at my job and others that I’ve heard about.

     I figured with all the Occupy Wall Street and the ninety-nine-percenters out there that the midnight open that some companies did would create a bigger backlash but I was sorely disappointed.  From the looks of it, idiots, instead of staying inside and just going on Amazon like sane people, ended up showing up at midnight.  It’s called the internet, people!  Use it for more than porn, okay?  It’s not just Wall Street and the government that needs to be taught a lesson about capitalism run amok.  It’s also the retail giants that treat their workers only slightly better than slave labor and their customers like cattle that can be manipulated into buying anything as long as they call it a “holiday sale”.

     I’ll have more to say on another post about holidays but this rant is long enough.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to hurry out the door – there’s a great sale going on at JCPenny!  If I buy 4 sweaters, I get 5% off the fifth one! Sweet!

More soon from the frontlines...

Let's Go Back In Time

     One of the first things you’re taught when you enter the retail world is that you have to learn to work with all different types of human beings.  That goes for coworkers, supervisors, and customers.  We’re taught to appreciate everyone’s background and to respect the differences we may hold.  Whether that person is a snobby trophy wife with bleach blonde hair or someone who thinks going to the dentist once every ten years is asking too much, we have to treat everyone the same.

The hardest thing I have to overlook, however, is the fact that some people still use, let us say, outdated terminology when discussing other groups of people.  For instance, just a week ago, I was assisting a white, (probably) lower-middle class family look for a new TV.  Everything seemed to be going pleasantly enough when the husband, in his 40s or so, points to the TV and asks, “Who made this?  The Japs?”

     He went on to repeat the word 3-4 times within a five-minute conversation.  At first I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I don’t really recall hearing anyone who wasn’t in a TV show or movie use the word “Japs” before.  It’s the kind of thing you would hear in a John Wayne movie from the Forties.  Even when I corrected the guy and said it was made by a company based in South Korea, he just shrugged and said, “Yeah, right, same thing.”  Right, because Canada and the U.S. are the same, too.  To just use such an antiquated, offensive word like that was kind of surprising to me.  Not that I haven’t heard people I’ve worked with or been friends with sling words that most wouldn’t deem politically correct, but to hear someone who I didn’t know just feel so casual as to use it caught me off guard.

     Then, on the same day, an older middle-class white woman (who probably never met a Crate & Barrel she didn’t like) was looking at our store’s laptops.  After assisting her for a few minutes, she noticed another woman with a few kids struggling to find help.  She nodded at the woman and said to me, “I’m still just looking so if you want, you can go help that… dark-colored woman – she’s been waiting for awhile.”

     Now that was more surprising than the Japanese comment from earlier but I’m not quite sure why that is, even now.  I’m used to white people, especially those living in the suburbs or places with low numbers of black people, in the States feeling awkward when having to describe someone they don’t know who happens to be of a different skin color, but to use “dark-colored”? Wow.  I didn’t know it was 1950s day at my work!

     It’s not like she couldn’t have just said, “that other woman” and I wouldn’t have known who she meant.  It was slowing down at that point and there weren’t that many women in the electronics store at that point.  She also seemed to know what she was saying might’ve been inappropriate because she talked quieter when she said the words “dark-colored woman”.  If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything.  Just say, “that other woman” and be done with it.

     I remember 1 time when I was working in a grocery store and a customer asked where a certain melon was brought in from.  I looked on the box that the product was shipped in and it said “Mexico”.  I told the elderly woman and she just shook her head and scoffed.  She told me that she didn’t buy anything from Mexico because she didn’t trust the food coming in.  She believed that the food might not be cleaned properly and that she might get sick.  How a person might’ve gotten sick from a melon not being properly washed is beyond me, since you don’t even eat the skin of melons to begin with, but I digress.  I never really thought about it until after the conversation, but that woman was probably complaining about Mexico’s food when who knows what’s been done to the food made right here in America.  With the amount of chemicals and genetic-modification that’s been done to the food supply and the unclean and unsafe conditions at farms, to name a few, we don’t need to worry about Mexico killing us with dirty produce.  Now, she didn’t use any offensive terminology when talking about Mexicans but the topic was still quite odd.  Besides, with the globalization of most industries, I doubt most of what she owned was truly made in America, anyway.  Why worry about origins of melons?

     All this brings me back to having to treat everyone the same.  What do I do when I have to deal with people who make me feel awkward – not for myself but for them?  Do I ignore the phrasing people use and let them carry on using antiquated terminology in an increasingly global world?  Ignorance is bliss but maybe people should be called out when they’re caught living in the past.  They might’ve grown up using words they picked up from family, friends, and the media, but that’s no excuse for them to still use them.  I used to shit in a diaper but that doesn’t mean I should still be doing it.

     I’m also not a complete prude as to let language alone dictate how I should feel.  George Carlin – a hero of mine – would go on about how words are just words.  They only hold power over us as long as we let them.  While I was surprised by people still using words many have long since left by the wayside, and while I often wish I could openly criticize people for sounding stupid and uneducated by using certain words, I know that words are just words.  The flipside of that is that I don’t want some random customer walking by as a customer uses some offensive term and sees me, unable to criticize that customer and suggest using other language in public, standing there with an awkward expression on my face.  I don’t want me saying nothing to imply that I condone stupidity.

     It also makes me wonder if all of this is mainly an American issue.  I’ve been abroad but I’ve never really had to interact with people treating other people of different ethnic background differently.  Does a random Englishman go up to another Englishman in a store and ask if their wool coats were made by some drunk mick?  I wonder what common interactions are like elsewhere where origins of products is an issue for people.  Do people still cling to offensive words as much as it seems people in the States do? Hmm…

     More soon from the frontlines...

Curveballs

     There are times when customers can really surprise you and for the better.  It’s rare, to be sure, but it happens.  I’m used to the customer that flips out on me for a problem that isn’t even related to something I’ve done.  I’m used to the customer saying or doing something stupid because they can’t read something or find something that’s easy enough for them to find.  But a customer who actually goes out of their way to do something nice for you?  How many of us has that happened to?

     A few months ago I was assisting a couple that came in looking to buy several products.  In the course of assisting them, we talked and joked around about every random thing under the sun.  A more relaxed couple I have not met.  It was one of those interactions you almost wished wouldn’t end because you knew the type of customers you might have to deal with (assholes) after such a pleasant transaction.  The husband was even showing me several pictures of the house he was redoing and even the people who were helping him.  I thought they were going to adopt me at the end of the interaction – that’s how friendly they seemed.

     And w/ the money they were dropping, I almost wouldn’t have minded another family to celebrate my birthday with.

     But time passed and I eventually put the couple out of my mind.  Not that I wouldn’t have recognized the pair but it’s not like I went around feeling nostalgic about the interaction we had.  It was a sale and they went on their way.  I know our business promotes the friendly salespeople they have and how it’s because of us that they end up buying from our store and not some other store, but it always felt like a lot of bullshit.  I mean, I’ve found people to only care about one thing and one thing only: price.  I can’t blame them, of course.  I’ve had people come back to the store looking specifically for me but that’s generally because they knew my store would bend over and take whatever price the customer wanted to pay for a product.  I was just the salesperson to facilitate the transaction.

     So, it was kind of surprising when the husband came back into the store a few months later and talked to me about what brought them in and other random things.  He wasn’t sure if I remembered him but it was kind of hard to forget this guy if you had seen him.  He said he had to finish up in another part of the store but that he had something for me.  I wasn’t sure if I had heard him correctly and thought he had some sort of issue with his purchase.  I wasn’t in the mood to deal with an issue, even an issue from a customer who had a happy-go-lucky attitude.

     Several minutes go by and he returns carrying a plastic bag that looked pretty heavy.  I thought his wife and him had brought me some fruit that they had picked or something.  That enough was enough to surprise me and want to thank the guy for the touching thought.

     He came up to me and said how it was just a “little something” that they had seen while on vacation and they just had to get it for me.  They even remembered my name!

     I thanked him and shook his hand as he walked away, leaving me to open the bag by myself.  I gently placed the bag on a table and looked inside to find a gift from Europe they picked up that had my name inscribed in it.  My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as I lifted it up out of the bag.  It was easily the coolest thing I’ve ever gotten while working in retail because it came from a customer who didn’t have to do that at all.  I was just some shmuck who sold them some electronics.  But to remember my name and pay money to get some salesperson a gift while you were on vacation?  I should be so lucky to receive such kindness from relative strangers in the future!

     It was something that won’t be forgotten about any time soon.  It was quite an amazing thing to experience in a life where you’re used to being treated like a servant.  I suppose being nice and helpful really does make a difference for some customers.  A very select few recognize the good you do for a shitty pay.

     I hope all of you out there get to experience something like that with a customer you’ve helped.  Whether it’s something that cost them a dollar or a hundred dollars, a gift is a gift, and we retail employees should appreciate anything we’re given.  I hope those of you who’ve had someone who has gone out of their way to do something nice to make your shopping experience a bit better will remember that.  Sure, there might be an incentive for them to get you back into the store down the line (I mean, how else will we get paid?) but that incentive isn’t that great.  If I could tell 90% of the people I run into at my jobs to bugger off, I would - repeat business be damned!  If I’m nice to you it’s because I was raised to be nice and to treat you with respect.  It’s not because my job did a great job in convincing me that I should be nice because they haven’t.  So show those hard workers some respect and maybe show your gratitude in some way.  Corporations may say it’s not good to accept something from a customer but how can one say no to a personally inscribed gift?

More soon from the frontlines...

Competition Comes Knocking

     Throughout both my years in grocery and electronics retail I’ve had to deal with new stores that vie for your customer base.  Some tend to have a bigger impact on the scene than others.  Some fizzle out quicker than others.  However, the same reaction to news of an upcoming competitor always takes place each time.  The complete and total meltdown.

     It’s not that bad, in reality, but the people running the store, the district, the company, tend to make you feel that way.  It can generally start with the company devising ways to find out what this newcomer is all about.  People get sent into their stores to do a little snooping around and see what’s working for them and what’s not.  This can sometimes lead to the, “Oh, shit, that’s what we should be doing!” response that most management people have.  This can be a disastrous scenario because in some cases, the established store that feels threatened by the newcomer will sometimes drastically change things about themselves to mimic the newcomer.  I can understand the instinct to do this but it’s a terrible idea, in my opinion.

     First of all, people are shopping at your store because you’re obviously doing something right.  In this economy, if you haven’t gone into bankruptcy or closed down completely, it’s a miracle and you should keep on keepin’ on.  If you are changing key things about yourself to steal someone else’s thunder, then you’re changing the reasons people come into your store.  If they wanted to shop at store X, then they’ll shop at store X instead of trying to get the exact experience at store Y.  Do you go into a Target and think, “Man, this is a pleasant place to shop but why isn’t it more like K-Mart?”  If you wanted to shop at K-Mart, shop at K-Mart.  There was a pretty well-known store that closed their doors a few years back and people at my company credited to the fact that they were playing catch-up to us.  They changed different aspects about themselves but just couldn’t get traction.  Now, I don’t know if they’d still be in business had they just amplified the things they do well instead of trying to be like us, but at least they could close down knowing they played the game on their terms.

     Now comes the part where the store you work at implements the changes.  Sadly, the things they’re trying to change are the things that nobody cares about.  They’ll worry about too much signage when they should really worry about adequate staffing.  They’ll see workers’ desks and just see clutter when they should focus on making sure the products on their shelves are in stock.  They’ll remove tile flooring and lay carpeting down to make things look more elegant when they should fix the leaking roof or the bathroom that constantly smells like crap.  Yet, they want to take the easy way out of improving their company.  As we all know, the cheap and easy way out is always the best option, right?

     Good luck trying to convince management in your store that they’re focused on the wrong things, too.  I totally understand that some changes are out of their hands.  They don’t control the amount of money they have to hire people for example.  Yet, people just seem content to not question anything and just continue to go along to get along.  It’s maddening.  So all you can do, as an employee, is stand by and watch as the gong show plays out all around you.

     For months in advance, the sentiment of management about the approaching doom that is a new business coming into town can be a bit disappointing, to say the least.  In private, the management, which should be rallying the morale of the workers, will look at you with wide-eyed horror as they say to you how worried they are about the new competitor.  It’s as if they think we’re all going to be out of jobs within six months.  To me, this worriment is just proof that they don’t have faith in their own company’s ability to compete and also their employees’ ability to compete.  Only those who worry about a competitor coming in are those who think that something is wrong with the way they’re doing things.  Why else be so nervous about 1 new store being added to the mix?  It’s not like ours is the only company in the city that sells the products that are on our shelves.  If you think this competitor is such a threat and you say things like, “I don’t know what we’re going to do…,” (which I’ve heard from management in the past) then why hire the people you’ve hired?  That’s what’s annoying to me about the messages being spread from management when new competitors arrive.  To the workers they project confidence in the staffing they have but in private a lot of them seem to have no faith in their people.

     Personally, I don’t worry at all whenever a new store opens in the area.  I have faith in my coworkers and the company I work for to know that we’ll be fine.  Our business might hurt but that’s the nature of things.  We’ve stolen customers away from multiple competitors for years and we’ll continue to do so, just like they’ll do with our customers.  It’s the nature of retail.  If you can’t handle the other kids on the block, you might as well pack up your shit and go home.  And that’s life, really – you can either hold firm and believe in yourself and know that you can handle challenge or you can just give up and never get anywhere in life.

     More soon from the frontlines...

Nostalgia Is A Bitch

     One thing that bums me out about working in retail is the number of people who quit, transfer, or get fired.  The last year or so, my store has gone through a number of changes in personnel and it still is odd to not see people there that I used to see all the time.  When you work in a job in the retail world you come to depend on friends to help cheer you up and help you make it through the day.  I don’t know where I’d be without those people who’ve become more than just coworkers.

     When I first started this job, I doubted that I would ever know more than the names of coworkers within my own department.  It really wasn’t even until the first several months or so had passed on that I began to recognize people from the opposite end of the store and associate names with them.  I just kept my head down, learned what I needed, and viewed everyone’s relationships at the store as an outsider.  I don’t know exactly when I began to feel like one of the crowd but a store that seemed quite large when I began seemed to shrink.  I knew most of the employees and began to joke around with even the new hires.  I had become part of the “team”.

     Of course, throughout my time at this job, I’ve had plenty of people come and go, but lately the people who’ve left have been the ones that started at around the same time as myself.  I never thought that these people would move on before I did and seeing them leave for greener pastures has made me feel a bit left behind.  I always figured that I’d move on before others did; not that I thought I could find better faster than they could, but I just hoped it’d be me leaving them first so I could make a clean break with everyone at the same time.  I don’t know how much that made sense but I guess it’s like a relationship – I’d rather be the dumper than the dumpy (Dumpey? Dumpie? Oh, Microsoft Word, why do you let me down??).  Now, whenever I walk around the store, I can only picture and think about times I’ve shared with those no longer there.  While those memories always elicit a pleasant feeling, they also make me feel a bit sad.

     Switching gears here, let me focus on the workers who are there to replace those who left.  Whenever there’s a new hire, there’s the tiniest of pieces that I recognize in myself that just wants to say, “Damn, do I have to get to know them, too?  It’s so much work! Blah!”  I’ve come to the conclusion that thanks to the turnover rates in the retail world, I try not to form attachments to people who have been at my store for less than 4 months.  At that 4-month point, I’ll take the chance and bother to learn your name instead of calling you “boss” and start having more meaningful conversations.  I’m sorry but my heart just can’t take more pain!  You understand, of course.

     I think the toughest part of it all is the fact that I most likely won’t see much of them outside of work.  This will most likely be true despite how much I get along with those people who’ve moved on.  Sure, we’ll always have online social networking and the occasional get-together, but that’s not the same and everyone knows that the promise of “We’ll have to stay in touch” is generally a lie 90% of the time.  Not that that’s anyone’s fault, necessarily; it’s just a way of life in the fast-paced 21^st Century.  We’re too busy with the day-to-day events of our lives to try and set aside time for people.

     Perhaps that’s just a bullshit answer but I’m amazed how quickly a day goes by.  I guess I’m just getting old.  I can’t get as much done in a day as I once could and the first to get cut in my laziness are my friendships.  That makes me feel bad but I just want to set aside this entry to those of my coworkers, nay, friends who’ve left recently and say that I have appreciated the time we’ve had together.  Not that any of you will ever come across this entry, but you all meant a lot for my sanity!  I hope to stay in contact with you all for many years to come.  You’re banter, dancing, singing, and random acts of kindness prove that good things are in your future.  Karma will not forget every smile you bring to those you work with.

     Conversely, customers, karma will also not forget every pissy comment you say to employees making barely more than minimum wage.  Just a fair warning there for you.
     More soon from the frontlines...

‘Reduce, Reuse, And Recycle’ Has Become ‘Increase, Use, and Maybe Recycle’

     As a cog in the machine there are often things that are out of my control to change, and as a person who is acutely aware of the big global problem we have with deforestation, pollution, and global warming, it is frustrating to witness companies that are lax on their recycling guidelines.  That is, if they have any at all.  I don’t understand why it is so hard to have 2 different bins located throughout a store that is designated for recycling and one for garbage.  If my job is any indication of how numerous other businesses work, then there are thousands of trees killed each day for no good reason.

     There are plenty of times where I’ve had to print something and it either doesn’t come out right or it turns out I printed it out when I didn’t need to in the first place.  Each time that that’s happened, whenever I have to toss that paper out, I feel a slight pang in my heart.  I’m apart of the problem and that really annoys me and I’ll tell you why.  I strive to fix problems, not be apart of them.  There are times when I might not recycle when I have the ability to do so and for that I’m at fault.  But when there are times that I don’t have an option, like at work, I get frustrated that I have that choice taken away from me. 

     My company likes to pretend that it is a great partner in the fight against waste but if even 1 of their stores isn’t recycling their paper, that claim is a sham.  They have advertisements about recycling old batteries and the like but they could be doing so much more.  There’s not much hope, in my eyes, of the world really truly fighting for conservation and recycling when big businesses aren’t doing all they could be doing.  I’m not saying it’s feasible for every single business to have ten different garbage bins in every single building, office, or hallway they own and to guarantee every employee will deposit the right item in the right bin, but that’s not to say that that shouldn’t be a goal to strive for.

     But instead of finding ways to reduce the use of paper, my work seems intent on finding more ways to burn through paper.  They’ll find ways to make us fill out more paperwork daily on the customers we’ve helped, even if it’s info we fill out on other paperwork for them already.  They’ll have us tag products with signs that display the same info that other tags on the same product already displays.  I’m sorry, but if a customer is too blind and stupid to read a sign that shows a sale price on it, they shouldn’t be accommodated with a larger sign on the same product.  They’ll print off e-mails to give to someone else when they could just forward it to that person.

     It’s such a wasteful environment.

     I have coworkers that print out copies upon copies of the same sheet when they could just scribble the info they need on a scratch piece of paper.  Whenever I see pages being printed out at my work, I picture a tree that’s stood for hundreds of years falling in some distant rain forest.  I don’t know how people will be able to look future generations in the eye and try to explain how we had the opportunities to reduce the use of paper that came from trees that were vital in the ecosystem of our planet.  To those future generations I say this:  I’m sorry for being apart of the problem, in whatever capacity that is.

     That’s enough of that rant for now.

     More soon from the frontlines...

Shut Up And Get Your Work Done Faster!

     Okay, fellow employees, you’ve gotten off the hook up until this point but now it’s time for you to take your medicine.  Don’t get me wrong, we’re all in this fight together, but there are some things that bug me to death with you all.  What follows is one of the top things on that list.

     To begin, at many of my previous jobs I’ve been able to leave at the end of my shifts whenever I felt like it.  There was no checking out with anyone to make sure I did all of the work in my department.  If the store closed at a specific time, I didn’t have to wait around for a walkthrough by my manager.  It was great!

     At my current job (and others that my friends and family have told me about), I have to wait to get the okay from my manager to leave.  This generally doesn’t impact me because I’ve built up enough goodwill with those in charge that I could, basically, just say to them that I’m leaving and walk out without getting a walkthrough.  They know that I’ve been there long enough to know what’s expected of me and to make sure everything’s done before I leave.  I know how to stock things, I know to clean up the trash around the department, and I know how to make signs for things that are without them.  It’s not rocket science.  I plan my day well enough where I can get most of these things done before the doors even close.

     Others don’t always utilize their time as well.  Whenever I leave before everyone else has to, I typically get several sarcastic comments from my coworkers who have to wait behind.

     “Must be real hard leaving first.”

     “Wow, what did you do that makes you able to leave early?”

     It’s called working when others would just stand around and talk or go for smoke breaks.  Everyone always complains about how long it takes them to close their departments down but they never think about that when they’re standing around and doing nothing.  Even when I’m busy, if I walk past a display that needs organizing, it doesn’t take that much time and effort to push a box so it’s aligned with the rest of the products.  If you do that one by one, you’ll get a lot accomplished without even really trying.

     Sure, I goof off and relax but I also know that I don’t want to be there longer than I have to be at the end of the day.  There are also nights when I’m asked to assist other departments who need help closing down for the day and they are often the same departments with those employees that stand around during the day.  I don’t think it’s right that I’m asked to not only do all of my work but also the work of others who suffer from a lack of proficiency at their jobs.  I earned the right to leave early and, as much as I love all of my coworkers, if they need assistance then they should call their friends they stood around with earlier in the day.

     I have more pressing things to do in my life that I’d rather be doing than staying late at work to do things I could’ve done throughout my shift.  You know, important things like sitting here and writing this blog instead of going out in the beautiful sunshine.  Wait, when I put it that way…

     More soon from the frontlines...

“I’ve Been On Hold So Long That I’ve Forgotten What I Wanted.”

     I would’ve updated this blog sooner but I was on hold with an electronics store for the last six days.  Wow, it really does take a long time to get through to someone, doesn’t it?

     Okay, maybe not that long, but there are times when I probably could’ve constructed Noah’s Ark in the time that it takes me to get through to someone on the phone.  To paraphrase - you can judge the health of a nation by the time it takes someone to receive an answer from a retail store on the phone.  I guess you can’t really put that on a bumper sticker, but I’m sure it’ll catch on.  It’s an issue you hear about nearly every single store, HR helpline, or manufacturer’s customer hotline.  And everyone’s own personal delay is a catastrophe, I’m well aware, but what do you really expect?

     Think about the amount of people living in your town.  If more than 5 people are calling up with a question or issue, chances are you won’t be getting through any time soon.  Magnify that if you’re calling a Sony, or Nintendo, or Whirlpool hotline for a question.  That company has only so many call centers set-up to deal with issues and I’m sure no amount of jobs they could fill would come close to handling the amount of calls they must receive.  A company only has a finite amount of resources available to them and incoming calls will always be shortchanged in that equation.  So suck it up and wait.  If you can make it through in under 10 minutes, just be happy to finally get your question answered.

     Customers come into my department and tell me how they couldn’t get through on the phones so they were forced to come into the store.  They always have the same idea, too:

     “[Blank Store] needs to hire more people to answer the phones.”

     Thanks, now all we need to do is install more phone lines for those new hires to work! Brilliant!  If every person in the store was devoted to just answering the phones then people coming into the stores would have no one around to assist them.  A store can only do so much for the number of incoming calls they receive each day.  If you really want to have faster service on the phone, spread the word to every person you know who meanders on in a phone conversation.

     You know the type – the person who gives you way too much information than what’s needed to tell a story, or the person who isn’t prepared for the conversation so they stumble on their words or repeat themselves a million times.  If they’re that slow talking with someone they know, imagine how they are when they’re talking to us.  To find you the cable for your computer or the filter for your vacuum, we don’t need to know that you received that vacuum from your grandma ten years ago because you moved into a new apartment and had a pet dog named Spot who, god bless him, would shed like crazy.  WOW, really?  Like Dave Chappelle would say, “Wrap it up!"

     If you want help finding something, just tell me the company who made it, the model number, and how old the product is.  Cut and dry, people.  The quicker you are with us, the quicker we are with you, and can proceed onto the next phone call.  If you don’t like waiting in a long phone queue, imagine how the people behind you feel once you get through.  If we need more information, we’ll probably ask for it.

     That’s not to say that some customers are justified in their complaints.  Just the other night I was caught trying to call up another store to see if they carried something in-store.  I was on hold for over an hour trying to get through.  After 10-15 minutes of holding, I would hang-up and try another extension but I got the same response.  I then tried other stores to see if I would have better luck and, eventually, I did.  That luck only occurred after calling 2 other stores and waiting about 5-10 minutes on hold for each store.  That is no way to run a business.  I can understand if someone has to wait 5 minutes or so but over an hour of trying to get through?

     Don’t think that employees don’t understand your frustration.  We get it more than anyone out there.  I have to call other stores, warehouses, etc., for customers who are too lazy or too stubborn to call them up themselves and I am the one left on hold.  Just remember to be calm like the Buddha.  Have patience and eventually your call will be answered.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to pick up this damn phone that’s been ringing for the past hour.

     More soon from the frontlines...

"I Will Tear Your Head Off The Next Time You Do That! Oh, And Thanks For Coming In Early To Work!"

     One of the biggest apprehensions I have before going into work each day is, “What kind of moods are the managers in today?”  Now, my first big apprehension is, “Am I going to have to deal with customer issues today?” but manager moods run a close second.  Do you ever work at a place where it seems like the managers are suffering from multiple personalities or some severe emotional imbalance?  How fun is that?

     It’s not like there are several insane managers running around my store, there isn’t.  It just feels that way because of the amount of time spent around them.  The crazy people tend to stand out from the calm, fun managers that are at my store.  They can go from pleasant to axe-wielding maniac on the same shift.  The phrase "walking on eggshells" was probably invented because some crazy grocery store manager went berserk one day and threw eggs all over their store.

     One moment the manager will act like he or she is your best friend and the next moment they’ll tear you a new asshole for coming to them with a question.  What’s really frustrating about these managers is when they seem normal for a good month or two, making you think you can get along with them, and then they return to their bitchy attitude.  For the longest time I couldn’t stand one of our head managers when (s)he first began because every interaction was a combative situation.  Everyone (and I do mean everyone) despised having to work with her/him.  (S)he’s been there now for over a year and it is just now that I’m starting to not feel as apprehensive about working around that person.  Yet, I know that given the right circumstances that could change in an instant.  Not that I feel like we’re buds or anything – I still walk in with the same level of unease as I did before – but I don’t dread every interaction.

     When I worked in the grocery retail world, I remember most of the managers being in better moods than the managers at electronic stores.  That kind of strikes me as unusual since, per day, grocery stores tend to see more customers than electronic stores, and there are more employees at grocery stores than electronic stores.  How come management at grocery stores can keep more of a level head than management at electronic stores?  Is there some sort of training they’re going to that we can export to the electronics world?  If so, let’s get on this!  Or is it because customer issues in the electronics world tend to feel like larger headaches than at grocery stores?  I’m probably leaning toward that being the case than anything else.

     Do I expect every manager to be my best friend? No.  I do, however, expect them to not treat me like their five-year-old child and fly off the handle whenever they don’t like something I’ve done or didn’t do.  If every training video or coaching seminar I’ve ever went to for this job expects me to act like everything is all sunshine and rainbows in the world, the same should be expected of our managers.  We’re supposed to give every customer the royal treatment but apparently there is no training video telling managers to give their employees the royal treatment.

     If the frustrations of being a manager are too much for someone, then they shouldn’t be a manager.  If having to deal with customers bitching at you, corporate eyeballing you, and employees coming to you with every little issue is too much for you – then you shouldn’t be a manager.  That’s why I’ve never tried to move up in the retail world.  I know that I’d be like the bitchy managers I’m describing here.  I also don’t expect managers to shoot rainbows out of their eyes and toss candy to all the employees as they walk by, but you can be upset without being insane.  That’s something a few of my managers haven’t learned just yet.

     For all of the nice managers out there, you’ll get your own post, don’t worry.  I think I speak for all retail workers everywhere when we say that you’re presence at our stores make a world of difference.  Never let anyone take whatever place you draw your levelheaded and fun attitudes from away from you.  As hourly employees, we need you there all the more because even though your numbers might be larger than the psycho managers, their presence makes it feel like there are more of them than there are of you.

     More soon from the frontlines...

In-Store Music

     There are a few music artists I believe owe everything to their music being played at retail stores or grocery stores on endless loop.  Rod Stewart and Neil Diamond, I’m looking at you!  “Cracklin’ Rose” needs to be banned from ever being played, sorry.

     An in-store radio, if you’re lucky, has more than 10 songs played on a constant loop.  The grocery store I worked at had a decent selection of music that they played.  I could almost go an entire day without hearing the same song played twice.  I’ve also been quite amazed with the good music I’ve heard being played at a grocery store.  From David Bowie and The Beatles to The Killers and Jimmy Eat World – some grocery stores really try to make the sounds around you pleasant enough.

     The same can’t be said for electronic stores I’ve worked at, which is kind of surprising.  At one store, the music would repeat after the sixth or seventh song.  You’d think a place that sells CDs would be able to play more to show the diverse tastes they offer customers.  What fills me with dread about hearing those same handful of songs being played on repeat is the fact that some of the songs I know to be bad tend to grow on me.

     Hey, that song by the Jonas Brothers isn’t half-bad. I wonder if the CD is out yet, I’d think to myself before realizing, Wait, what? No!  You’re not a 12-year-old girl!

     But, by that point, the damage is already done and my taste in music is ruined.  Oh, who am I kidding?  My taste in music was never that good.  I digress!

     The music only gets worse by the holidays.  That music selection dwindles even at the grocery stores.  Just because you play “Jingle Bells” five different ways does not mean your selection is any better, either.  That minor irritation is probably why employees feel like tearing into customers during the holiday seasons.  It’s like when a parent has a headache and they want to yell at their child for doing nothing out of the ordinary – the headache just makes everything seem more annoying than usual.  Same concept.

     The holiday music drives me nuts because my job feeds a local radio station into their system each year to get people in the holiday mood.  Sadly, with the ever-expanding Christmas season, the holiday music begins November first.  One can’t even come out of their candy overdose from Halloween before being bombarded with Burl Ives or Bing Crosby.  No offense, if there are still days where the weather can reach fifty degrees, that is not Christmas music weather, and stores should zip it with the tunes.  This encroachment by Christmas needs to stop and holiday music on in-store radios is the first line of defense.

     Please, stores, if there’s one thing you could do to improve your workers’ experience while on the job, it’s the music.  We spend 4-10 hours there a day and if the music selection repeats after an hour, well, you can do the math.  That’s a whole lot of repeated songs in a month, let alone a year.  Or just increase our pay, you know, which ever.  Is that a no on the pay?  Okay, I had to try.

     I know it’s a matter of copyrighted materials and being allowed to air them at the store level but please, if I have to hear “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis one more time, I’m going to check into Heartbreak Hotel.  Yeah, that joke’s bad but maybe if my jobs played more than the same 10 songs, I could think of some other song to end that joke on.  Now, to go download that new Jonas Brothers song…

     More soon from the frontlines...

Me, Me, Me

     This entry ties closely to a few previous entries but I’ve had enough annoying situations of late that I wanted to expound on this subject a bit more.  That subject is the greatest bane of every retail worker’s life and the worst two-word phrase in the English language:  customer satisfaction.  Don’t get me wrong!  I don’t think companies should tell customers to go fuck themselves.

     Well, maybe not all customers.

     Companies should promote a relative level of warmth for customers when they enter the stores.  I don’t, however, believe in companies bending over backwards to make sure every customer feels like they can treat the employees like homeless people or relatives they didn’t like.  Often, there are customer interactions where I feel like the store’s the girlfriend who never feels good enough for their boyfriend no matter how hard they work on their looks or try to keep them happy.

     For instance, customers come into electronic stores and often believe it’s a flea market and not a retail store.

     “How much for this stereo system?”

     “Three hundred bucks.”

     “How about two-fifty?”

     “How about you keep the two-fifty and kiss my ass?”

     Since when are prices adjustable?  I’ve mentioned that before but really, it’s the store’s fault for letting customers think they can get away with that.  In a desperate attempt to get every dollar they can, I’ve seen retail companies take money off of products for no reason other than to just to get a sale.  Then the customer thinks, “Oh, great, next time I’m at the store, I’ll just ask for money off and they’ll do it!”

     It’s great to make a person feel like they’re being taken care of but they should feel that way just by the store having good prices as is.  There shouldn’t be a need to discount something just for the sake of discounting.  If someone can’t pay the price of a $300 I-Pod, maybe they shouldn’t buy the $300 I-Pod.  Don’t live beyond your means – or hasn’t this economical clusterfuck taught us anything?  I don’t go out and eat at 5 star restaurants every night because I can’t afford it.  I don’t go there and ask if I can get a discount on the steak just because I’m a good customer.

     There are also retail companies that allow returns without receipts. What!  There are ways to look up most transactions in a store’s computer database but there are times when that isn’t the case, and yet in those instances people can still return items.  I’m sorry but a store shouldn’t accept your shit back for no reason (and let’s be honest, shit that probably isn’t from the store they’re returning it to). 

     Then there are some grocery companies that do any tiny thing that the customer could easily do at home just to create a friendly, helpful atmosphere.

     “Cut this whole chicken up into ten million pieces for me.”

     “Do you own a knife at home?”

     “Yes.”

     “Oh, so you’re just lazy on top of being rude.”

     People are infants when they walk into a store and they expect everything done for them or done their way.  It’s become so bad that normal sales aren’t good enough for people.  They need discounts on top of discounts.  They expect it because it’s a “special” price just for them.  Well, if everyone expects it, then it’s not so special and the store’s not so profitable.

     “I know this refrigerator is nine-hundred dollars off but is there any discount on that?”

     “Besides the nine-hundred dollars you just saw as the sale?”

     “Oh, but it’s still so expensive!”

     “Then go by one that you can afford.”

     Retail stores & grocery stores shouldn’t be afraid to tell a customer “no”.  Just like you had to learn to tell your child “no” when he or she wanted to eat Twinkies as their breakfast.  Maybe, if the customer hears it enough things will go back to being normal.  Customers won’t think they can walk all over a company just because they know the company will do anything to please them.  And if a customer threatens to walk out the door and shop elsewhere, well, to paraphrase the line, “If you love something, let it go.  If it’s meant to be, they’ll return.”  I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve seen walk through our doors and tell me, “I never thought I’d be shopping here again…”  Time heals all wounds and all egos.

     Again, customers:  live within your means.  It’s nice to have the BMW but maybe you’re just a Ford kind of guy.  It’s okay if you weren’t born in the top 3% of the income bracket.  Shit happens!  Do you think I like slumming it with the rest of the 97%?  Let me put that in a more friendly way…

     Welcome to our store!  How can we help you??
     More soon from the frontlines...

Why Show It Online When It's Not In Your Stores?

     This is a quick recap of an interaction I had the other day with a customer over the phone.  I hope you are as amused by this as I was.

     I received a call from a customer who was looking for a product he had seen online.  He wanted to come in and see the product before making a purchase.  We get these phone calls often and it’s typically no big deal.  He gave me the store’s special product number for the product he was looking for and I proceeded to look it up in our computer system.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t finding anything.  I figured that I had misheard him or he just gave me the wrong number.  That second option is a much more likely scenario:

     “Sorry, sir, that isn’t the model number.”

     “Are you sure?”

     “As sure as several years here can make me.”

     I asked for the model number as a second option but I still came up empty.  I asked him where he found the item that he wanted and he told me it was my store’s website.  I went online and sure enough it was right there when I typed in the model number.  There was just one problem.

     In big letters it said, “NEW ARRIVAL” and the “Add To Cart” button was blocked out.  Now, whenever a company is blocking you from purchasing something, you typically can’t buy the product because the manufacturer hasn’t released the product for sale yet.  Why would a retailer, in the business of making money off of the stupid shit people buy, want to withhold said stupid shit they could sell?

     I tried to explain to the customer the situation.

     “I’m sorry, it looks like we can’t order this product just yet because it’s not in stock at our warehouse yet.”

     “But it’s on your website.”

     “I know, but it just hasn’t arrived to our warehouse yet.  It’s a new product.”

     This is where most people would realize that it’s out of our control and they’ll just have to wait if they really want the product.  Most people.

     “Well, alright, I tried to make a sale with you but it’s your fault that I’ll have to go get it from somewhere else.”

     My fault?  I’m sorry, did any of you see the part where I was promoted to CEO of my company?  By the way, I can guarantee you all that that has not happened.  How can an hourly employee be in charge of who puts products up on our website or the time it takes manufacturers to send their products to our warehouses?  And the product he wanted wasn’t even more than $300.  My store was not going to close because we lost a $300 sale.  Had I been on commission, I wouldn’t be losing sleep over letting a big sale like that get away from me.  Don’t try to make it seem like you were doing me a favor by throwing me such a large sale.

     Don’t shoot the messenger, everyone.  I’m not paid enough to feel heartbroken because you couldn’t receive your Snuggie and have to trudge to another store for it.  I have no special powers that can make something you want appear out of thin air.  If something can’t be gotten, it can’t be gotten.  Simple as that.
     More soon from the frontlines...